cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
You want a nose job? Sounds a little kinky but ill give it a go
IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD
MY GREAT AUNT FRIENDED SOMEONE WITH THE SMAE NAME AS ME ON FACEBOOK THINKING IT WAS ME
the girld idnt even question it ic ant breathe
every time someone asks me what they should watch on netflix i always say Tarzan 2 and they always get upset with me??? Tarzan 2 was a great movie
I DONT UNDERSTAND!?!?!?!?????
The Turkish company Pugedon has created a vending machine that’s dispensing help for both the environment and our furry friends.
this makes me so happy
did that fucker just jump on water is this fucking cat jesus
Anonymous asked: you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE
come closer one second
okay close enough
i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?
that would be me.
do you know what this crown means?
it means i look fucking cute
and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt
now as your fucking queen, i royally declare
that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema
How to tell if it was a gunshot or fireworks: gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do.
thaNK YOU SO MUCH
the fact that anyone might commonly need to know this terrifies me
clearly you’re not from america